A New Type of Relationship

I feel like now a day relationships are nothing but games.

It always starts off the same. Late night talks, and texts, endless amount of dates together. And then finally making it “Official”

But lets take a moment to think about that word “Official” what makes something official? Is it when both families know it has a title to it now? Or when its been posted on Facebook? When they add each other into their bios on Instagram? or because you can finally post a billion pictures together for the whole world to know?

It’s sad to say that we’ve become a generation that cares more about how many likes our pictures together can get.  Or how many people can comment “#Relationship Goals”

A Fresh Start

After all the things that have happened these few months, I’m just glad that things are starting to finally get better.

Tyler passed his pipe fitting exam, which means his career can finally start.

Maybe things between us can start to get better, we can finally start to fix all the issues that we’ve been hiding under the rug.

Would you have a right?

Would you have a right to judge someones actions now, when in the past your actions were the same or even worse?

If you love someone and they hurt you while things weren’t made clear yet would you have a right to hold it against them?

If you love that individual can you forgive them and move on? could you actually try to forget that it happened.

As humans we tend to focus a lot on the errors of others, but turn the other way when it comes to mistakes that we’ve done in the past.


Fresh start

I’m sure we’ve all eventually been there, you know that moment in life in wich you seem to be pushed into new things in life.

No matter how much control we try to have over how things play out we will never have that full control.

I wish Icould say i didn’t see this coming sooner or later, just wishing things would have been laid out for me differently.

At times i look out the window while i’m driving arpund with my boyfriend and i can’t help but wonder how long will my happiness last, how long before something starts to slip put or place. But it’s a big relieve to see who has your back when things seem to go south.

1 Corinthians 10:13

No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability but with the temptaion he will also provide the way of escape that you may be able to endure it.

No matter what ball life can throw at you, just remember its all happening for a reason.


Sometimes i still think about you, about the memories we created. Sometimes i wish i could turn back time and have done things a different way. I look back at pictures and relive those moments if only in my head. I tell myself i should just focus on moving on, but every chance life gets it seems to bring you back up, even if its because you showed up on a tagged post, or because someone brought up what we once had. To this day, i still cry a little knowing things ended too soon, knowing we didn’t get a chance to share more time together. But you’re happy, and that makes me happy. LIfe did me good after a while. Maybe i wasn’t meant to keep you, maybe the timing was off. Whatever the reason is or was just hope you stay happy because i know i learned to be strong and to get back up

I don’t 

I don’t don’t miss you.

Sure I miss the memories we created, and the never ending moments of laughter. But that’s all in the past. 

We learn to accept that people change over time. That not everyone is meant to be a forever in life. 

Yet I sit here thinking to myself how lucky I am. Lucky to have at least experienced what I did with you, with anyone in my past over all. 

I’ve realize I don’t miss you, I miss who you once use to be. But I rather hold on to those beautiful memories, than to destroy myself . 


A Final Goodbye

Theres a million questions I had to ask you, yet I sit here in my couch knowing I no longer care for those answers.

Maybe once upon a time you were everything I ever wanted, maybe you were my dream come true. But now I’ve realized that stuff just doesn’t happen because you expect them to happen. You must pray about it with all your heart, you work towards those hopes, dreams, and goals but most importantly you have to commit to always fighting to have what you want.

I hope that one day when you finally realize you won’t find my eyes inside of hers that I didn’t lose you, you lost me with the actions that both of us made.

I wish nothing but the best for you, but today I say my final goodbye towards you. It’ll remain as an unspoken word between us, because it’s better this way. Know that I don’t hate you, but also realize that I no longer care for you like I once did.

When you look for my eyes inside of her I hope your heart doesn’t break into a million pieces like mine did when I was forced to move on

What is dating?

So sadly we grew up and continue to grow in a generation where we no longer date. we do casual hook ups, met ups, “Netflix and Chill”. let’s be honest.. what the hell is that?

It scares me to think that the morals that once were held by our parents and grandparents all went down the drain. Not saying every guy is only looking for a nights fun instead of a girl who’s everything he’s looking for in his future wife, but it no longer seems that way.

I’m 20, and since i was old enough to date I’ve only ever had 2 relationships. Yes i might have had a thing with a guy that could have led to being in a relationship once again.. but those “guys” weren’t looking for something serious, all they wanted was to get me into bed then discard me like last night’s dinner.

When did being “Friends with benefits” become the new way of starting relationships? I wish i could have been raised in the times when relationships meant more than just a title. The time when a boy would have to ask her parents to be able to take her out, when he would walk up yo her door to pick her up, not like now when all we seem to get is “Im outside”.

I would hate to see how worse dating will get, it honestly scares me to think that my future daughter will feel like she’s super special only when a guy makes her his #WCW. I see the young teen kids i take care of at church, to see how many of them already talk about how many girls they’ve hooked up with or even how many of them they’ve messed around with but nothing serious like dating.

How sad and disgusting, we’re the generation that has made all this popular, we got rid of all those things that make being in a relationship or married special. We made it so easy for feelings to be ignored because we’ve become so lustfull.

Who am i? and why am i here?

The Million dollar question we all ask ourselves at least once a day in my case. Who am i? why and i here? what’s my purpose in life? but more importantly why am i the way that i am?

I’m sure as we get older we beging to questions out excistance more and more as well as why we have the life we do. Some people are blesed with having a good family, maybe a super caring partner, or what ever the case maybe. Those people who refer to as “Blessed” don’t go around telling others “Look im so lucky to have this!” or some snobby remark like we feel that they say or do, They are blessed in their own way because maybe no matter what their situtation may be, they never stop thanking God for another day of life and for the things and people that they may have in their life.

Romans 15:13

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the holly spirit. 

Who am i? Hmm well i could either define myself based on the good things i see in my character or i could tell you who i am based on the definition of others about me. Sadly we live in a society where we belive who we are comes from the definitions of others adn what they may or may not see in us. Or we could easily say well if they see it, it must be true. Well its not. I am who i choose to be, not who others tell me to be, i will no longer do what i do to please others , why? because you can never please the whole world and not let someone down eventually.

Now this leaves us with the last question. Why am i here? I’m here to live my life in the way that i was intended to, to blease God not someone who is a sins just as much as i do. I am here to live a life filled with loving memories and to show others the same feelings.

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