As a girl being told ” It’s not you, its me” it seems normal right? Well being a girl with anxiety you question yourself even more. Did I do something? Was there something I could have done to make him feel better? Or could I have done something to help him out with whatever was going on in his life?
Last night we had a birthday dinner at our house for my aunts younger brother, everything was fine. Our friends came over and we had a fun night all together. While cooking the dinner with my aunt the famous ” Are you ok?” question was brought up yet once again. What do you define as being okay? Is being okay defined as not having an anxiety attack? or not crying for a few days? Maybe being able to breathe without gasping for air? What is being okay?
I wish that for once instead of being asked if im okay, someone would just run up to me give me a hug and tell me that its fine to break down and cry, that eventually all my wounds will heal. Or that one day I can actually smile and mean it, instead of feeling like im forced to smile to avoid being questioned over my mental state of mind.
Maybe not dating someone is for the better, maybe this is exactly what I needed to remember that I should be paying more attention to myself rather than someone else.